Thursday, Apr. 28, 2005 - 12:00 p.m.
My adventures with step-dad.
I swear to you my Mother deserves to become the patron saint of marriages after spending anytime at all with my stepfather. Normally, when I have to be anywhere with my stepfather, I somehow manage to be on a seperate plane and hotel all together, but this time I was forced to be on a plane with him for TWO HOURS. I told my mother that if he tries to tell the pilot how to fly the plane, she will owe me $5,000. She must have clued him in to this, since he did not say anything (although the way I was holding my book was incorrect).
Day one. The drive to the airport was "okay" mainly because I spent the hour talking to my ex-hubby and ignoring him. Since my drivers liceanse is MIA (a.k.a. in a purse somewhere) I have to use my passport as ID, which, according to him, "was only good on an international flight" -- luckily that was not true, and he spent 20 mins trying to tell me "how lucky I was" to have been allowed to use it. Whatever. I did stay at a totally different hotel, six blocks away, so I was lucky in that way.
Day Two: Managed to stay somewhat far away, but insisted on whispering so loud that he might as well just spoken in a normal tone. Tried to tell me that "vegetarians can eat soup with a beef broth base" which, when I ignored him decided to simply try and tell me that lovely fact LOUDER, to which I responded "only if they are OMNIVORS."
Day three: At the closing dinner he was trying to be the impressive "no one knows how to do their job therefore I have to tell them" man he usually is, only in full form. He started off by telling the waitstaff to serve "the women" first. Luckily the server was nice about it and said "Of course, we always do." I am old enough to tell people that I do not eat meat. I also understand that I am not the center of the universe and that the salad, bread, etc IS MORE THAN ENOUGH, and do not require a vegetarian meal. If they have one WONDERFUL--if not, NO PROBLEM. I told the server that I did not want the steak, and not to worry about it. He asked me if I wanted something else--I said "anything without meat." No problem, problem dealt with.
Oh no, enter Mr "I know plenty of vegetarians that eat chicken so bring that." To which I had to scream "No, no meat, no poultry no fish, please." It went downhill from there:
Him: Your mother is a vegetarian and she is eating steak tonight.
Me: She is not a vegetarian, she prefers not to eat read meat, but does eat poultry and fish.
Him: I am just saying...
Me: Well don't. No vegetarian eats meat. Period. And so help me if they bring me chicken.
To make matters worse, the woman I made cry at a meeting was also at my table. She also felt the need to tell a diffrent server that I was "refusing" to eat my meal and to bring something else. Needless to say I ended up with three different meals because apparently, after more that 30 years on this planet, I need other people to dictate what I eat.
Day four: Blamed me for his getting lost on the way to the airport. Started 10 sentences with the words "As I said before..." I finally said "If you said it before, you don't need to say it again." Luckily on the flight home, they asked for volunteers to move to the back of the plane (very small plane) so I jumped up and ran to the back. Finally got some peace and quiet.
This morning he actually tried to say that "Sunshine" might end up an outdoor cat. Luckily my Mother told him "Hell no!" and put her foot down.
Keep in mind he is not a total jerk 100% of the time, I think we have more of a generational problem than anything else. He thinks women like to be "rescued" and "taken care of" which are two things I hate. If I ask for help, fine. If not, leave me alone. I know he would never put Sunshine outside, I think he was just testing his "authority" to see how far he could go. God save that man if he even thinks about putting him outside. I would not fear what I would do, I would fear my Mother.
Speaking of sunshine, he is fine, eating, sleeping and being spoiled.
TTFN
OKINAWA
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