California Rantings

Tuesday, May. 07, 2002 - 9:01 p.m.

WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE?

It should be obvious now that I do not have a very good track record with the men in my life. I really do not get along with my stepfather. At all. He is a gossip and can not keep his mouth shut, which, in a small town, is poison. He is also a pouter. I am the type of person that needs time to cool off when I am pissed off, and it is better to just leave me alone until I work through my feelings. He knows that I am mad at him about some things he was saying about me behind my back. I no longer acknowledge him. No �Hello� or �Goodbye� and I no longer call over to my Mom�s house unless I absolutely have to. He is pouting about this and trying to act like the victim.

It drives me nuts when people have a hard time dealing with the repercussions of their actions. After 30 years of being on this earth, I am old enough to decide what is a positive in my life, and what is a negative. I do not have to surround myself with people that upset me, or make me unhappy. I have enough stress in my life without having to coddle and take care of other peoples emotional needs. I do not understand why people tolerate terrible behavior simple because the person who did something wrong is technically a relative. Maybe it is the only child in me, but I do not see the need to have unconditional forgiveness for family members.

The only part that bothers me is how much this hurts my Mother, but she has no solutions to this situation either. She knows I need to work this out on my own time, but then she has to go home to his pouting, self-righteous pity party. I haven�t talked to my biological father in seven years now, and have learned to cut negativity out of my life. This may make me a terrible person, but I have to do whatever I can to keep my own sanity.

How do people tolerate negative people in their lives? I know that I can not ignore him forever, due to the fact that I will not make my Mother choose when it comes to holidays and things like that. Just the sight of him makes me sick. I know so many people who tolerate relatives who steal from them and lie to them �because they are family.� What a crock. Why would anyone want family like that around them? I wish I knew of a way to make everything at least tolerable, but I feel like I am so far beyond that at this point. Any suggestions?

BLOCKED PHONE CALLS

Total number of phone calls from Date Man today? Six. At least when I had my answering machine, he would call and leave a message every few days. Now that I have no answering machine, he calls all day long. Sad but true. I was at a meeting tonight and he called at 7:30, 7:53, 8:05, 8:15, 8:22 and 8:34. I am tempted to answer and immediately hang up whenever he calls, just for a change of pace, but at the rate this is going, he may start calling 10 times a day. You would think that he would be frustrated by now, and give up, but apparently he thrives off of rejection the way the I thrive off of failure. Maybe my ignoring his calls is making him all the more determined to keep calling. Wouldn�t that be funny. Just the opposite of what I wanted to happen. Just my luck.

I have also had someone else that I used to E-mail write me a long �sob story� e-mail because he can no longer find me online during work hours. Well, duh, I block everyone from seeing me because I would spend all my work day chatting and getting nothing else done. As soon as he found out that I was not going to drop everything and everyone to go out with him he ignored me for five months.

What is it with me and men???

TTFN

OKINAWA The WeatherPixieLos Angeles The WeatherPixieLONDONThe WeatherPixie

#Veggie Blogs?

moon phases

guestmap
powered by SignMyGuestbook.com

ARHCIVES "Everything from the beginning of time!!!"

Contact Info

Diaryland

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!

This site is a member of WebRing. To browse visit here.

hosted by DiaryLand.com