California Rantings

Monday, Apr. 22, 2002 - 10:43 a.m.

BEING 30

I have had just over six months to adjust to being 30, and I am beginning to understand that I am going to have to start �upping� my maintenance. I used to be able to get away with certain things and my body had no problem with them, but now that I am 30 I am going to have to work harder on the following things:

1) These hideous bags under my eyes. I used to be able to put a few cucumber slices over my eyes and POOF! No more circles. Now I feel as though there is not enough coverup in the world to hide them. I probably have to drink more water or buy something expensive to fix this.

2) I can no longer eat an entire box of something and not see a difference on the scale the next day. I used to be able to eat ANYTHING and have no problem, now I have to really think about the damage I am going to do by sitting around all weekend and eating. I will probably have to drink more water and exercise more.

3) I actually wake up with sore muscles. Gone are the days of hiking all day without waking up in desperate need of some icy-hot gunk for my aching muscles. I may actually have to start doing �Warm up stretches� all day long�that and drink more water.

4) I need post-it notes when driving or calling someone on the phone. I am officially at the age where I will get into my car and have no clue where I am going. Or I will call someone and not remember whom until they pick up the phone. I need to remind myself where I am going. (At least this one does not involve drinking water).

5) Dry, flaky skin. I swear I have no moisture in my skin. I have turned into the moisturizer queen. My hands are the worst. Hands and lips. I used to be obsessed with sun screen (SPF 40 Yes!) and now I have to have moisturizer with me at all times. This is probably related to water in some way as well.

6) Insomnia. I have never been able to sleep well, but it is getting worse. I think it is related to getting older. I wake up at 4:00 every dang morning for no reason. �Nick at Night� is still on, and the paper delivery person won�t be here for hours. Maybe I should move to the East Coast so that I am really getting up at 7:00.

There you have it. Being 30 in a nutshell. So much work, and so little time. I swear I keep expecting to have a �plastic surgery� pamphlet mailed to me anonymously one of these days.

HOUSE BUYING

I have come to the conclusion that anyone who moves to California is insane. I am desperately trying to buy a house. This is what I looked at this weekend.

903 Sq. Foot

2 Bedroom

1 Bathroom

.13 acres lot

Crappy neighborhood

$193,000!!!!!! Rest assured, it only needs about $30,000 in work, but here in the Bay Area that is one heck of a deal. (Or as they say here �a hella good deal!"). This house originally sold for $32,000 back in the 70�s. The sad thing is, it will probably sell by the end of today for full price. My friend from Texas said that I could buy a nice ranch house with property for that.

Welcome to California, now go home.

KITTENS NEXT DOOR

Yes, there are kittens living next door. My younger cat is obsessed with them. He watches them out the window all day. He changes windows to get a better view sometimes. I am not sure what he thinks of them, but if they are outside, he is in the window. I think he watches them more than birds. They are cute though, but I can not be a divorced, 30 year old woman with three cats. That is what horror stories are made of.

BAD DATE KARMA

The Karma I talked about yesterday must be coming back to get me. Over this past weekend I have been contacted by (or had the mention of) some of the worst dates I ever had. The man who referred to vegans as �vegetarian Nazi�s� who flaked on calling me back for six months was asking a mutual friend about me. God, please do not have him start calling me again. Fine, I don�t eat animals, but I do not like being compared to a Nazi because I am not a big fan of chewing on a steak at a BBQ.

Then, another friend of mine wants to fix me up with a friend of hers, but since she fixed me up with �right after dinner we are going into the parking lot and having sex� man I told her thanks, but no thanks.

AND someone I haven�t heard from in a year is coming back into town and wanted to know if I was �still single.� Not single enough to go back out with you. He was always late and felt like the world revolved around him.

These guys make Date Man look good. But not good enough. Maybe I should dig Drive Thru mans number out of the garbage.

Either God is trying to remind me why I am single, or he is trying to tell me not to be so picky. Either way, I am going to get Caller ID.

TTFN

OKINAWA The WeatherPixieLos Angeles The WeatherPixieLONDONThe WeatherPixie

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