Sunday, Apr. 07, 2002 - 10:27 p.m.
MY NEW LOW
I have sunk to an all new low. A very dear friend of mine is going to have a baby any moment now. Normally, I screen my phone calls because I get sick and tired of telemarketers calling when I get home from work. I do not have Caller ID (not yet anyway). I have been answering the phone in case it is �the baby call.� �Date man� called. I pretended that I wasn�t me and took a message. To add to the realism I asked him if he needed to make an appointment (I own my own business and sometimes schedule appointments with clients) and he said �No, I just need to talk to her.� It is not always uncommon for someone else to answer my phone, but now I am afraid of the venom that he will spread now. He hadn�t called in a whole week, and I though I was safe. Childish and immature yes, but it was a decision I made without thinking. It was one of those �Homer Simpson� moments where, after I hung up, I said to myself �Did I say that or just think it.� The sad thing is that right before he called, someone called and hung up, and now I am beginning to wonder if he called to see if I would answer, hung up and called back. Either that, or just a strange coincidence. Why? Why? Why?
Here I had the chance to tell him I did not want to go out with him, and I did not do it. I think it was because I was having a good day, and did not want something negative like this to interrupt the flow of positive energy. My God, he has been calling for six weeks. This is only the second time in six weeks that I have talked to him, and I could not go through with rejecting him. I know the Karma truck is going to run me over for this one. I am going to have to go back to screening my calls until I get Caller ID.
I know how pathetic this is. I just wish that he would find someone else to set his mind on. Now my problem is that a mutual friend of mine is having a get together next month, and now I do not want to go in case he is there. This is what really sucks. If I go and he is there, everything will be uncomfortable. If I do not go, I will offend my friend, since I helped plan things. What is a girl to do? I either reject him and piss him off and go and have a crappy time, or continue to ignore him, go and be uncomfortable and try and dodge him all day, or just make up an excuse and not go at all (workaholics can always use work as an excuse).
I would hate for someone to treat me this way, but I can take a hint. If I leave a message for someone, and they do not ever call me back, that is pretty much the end of it. What does it take for him to get the hint (yes, I know, I could have ended it tonight). My main problem is that there are family members and mutual friends involved, and it could create a long term problem. I am telling you, God created love and dating as a form of torture for us mere mortals.
OKINAWA
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