California Rantings

Saturday, Oct. 29, 2005 - 8:57 a.m.

On Friday nights, when I have nothing to do between 4 and 6:30ish (which, because I am 34 and single is most Friday nights) I volunteer (usually with my Mother and 13 year old cousin) at my churchs food kitchen. Every Friday we prepare 200 meals for people. Although some are actually homeless, most of them are the "working poor." Because I am there so often, I get to know "the regulars," 95% of whom are very nice. It is the remaining 5% that drive me crazy. So much so that I have finally reached my breaking point and must talk about them here.

Last night we served chicken patties, marinara sauce, mixed veggies, french bread, cheese and pasta. For dessert, we have ice cream and ice cream cakes slices. One meal, per person at a time. If they want additional meals, they can take the pre-packed "to go" meals, or get a fresh plate. Sounds simple, right?

Last night was the end of the month, so I knew it would be hectic. The first man through the door was so drunk, he could barely stand up. Fine, we get a few intoxicated people, but not many. He wanted to be served at a table, which, with only three people working, was not an option. One cook, and two people trying to serve another 40 people who are waiting in line. He kept screaming "my knee hurts too much to walk I want delivery." The cook took pity and "delivered." I think more to keep him quiet than anything else. He kept screaming for refills, and finally one of his sober friends starting walking up to get the food on his behalf.

About 20 mins into the service the "dessert kids" came in. Every Friday these kids come in (with their Mother) and try and get 10 desserts each. The first kid wanted seven chicken patties and nothing else. I had to tell him one at a time and he said, "the other six are for my brother who is at home." Whatever. One at a time. His younger brothers wanted chili, but would "settle" for six chicken patties and an entire (12 serving) ice cream cake. No go. The youngest kid came up to me (face covered in brownie from the back table) and told me he had not eaten in 10 days and needed seven chicken patties). Now keep in mind that each of these kids are at least 20-30 pounds overweight (they are between 8 and 11 years old) and every week they tell me "but at home I am allowed to eat nothing but dessert for dinner if I want."

So, they each get one chicken patty and whine that what they really want is chili and dessert and why can't they get just that. I watched the oldest take one bite out of a chicken patty throw it away and demand anotherone. No go--I just saw you throw out the last one. "Only because it is not chili." After 30 mins they come up to ask for "three ice creams" (in theory one for each brother) the problem being that each brother is asking for three making it a total of nine. I told them that we only have so much food to go around and they could only have one at a time. If they wanted more, their Mother would have to come up and ask. "But she doesn't speak English" they whined. That's fine--because I am fluent in Spanish (which I told them in Spanish). In total they asked for a combined total of 30 chicken patties and 23 desserts. NO JOKING.

Then there was the older woman who was screaming at her daughter (who is in her 30's) that wanted me to put "six chicken patties in her to go boxes." Um, no go. "The woman last week did it." Um, no, that woman was me and I said "No" then as well.

The last person to tick me off was a pregnant woman and her six kids. She knocked on the door at 4 (30 mins early) and said "Look, I am pregnant and my six kids have things to do tonight, I need you to open now." I told her that the food was not done yet, but as soon as it was, we would open. So she screams "So you want my kids to die of starvation on the churchsteps then?" Um, no, but if they each want a frozen chicken patty, more power to you. Then she wanted me to seperate out the mixed veggies, because she hates carrots. Um not possible -- it is Veggie Mix and everything is already mixed together. I swear if I hear "you have to because I am pregnant" one more time from that woman I will scream.

Luckily the other 185 people I dealt with were nice and non-demanding. The payback???? Next week, I HAVE TO COOK 200 MEALS because no one else is available. God help me. So if anyone has any good ideas on cheap meals for the masses, let me know.

TTFN

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