Wednesday, Apr. 17, 2002 - 2:19 p.m.
I am typing this from work so that it looks like I actually am working, and not just screwing around waiting for the workday to end. The more I type, the harder it appears that I am working!
REFLECTIONS
My best friend and I decided to update our wills since we were now well into adulthood, and actually have stuff worth giving away in death and both of us almost died this weekend. My friend � car accident, myself the �crash landing� attempt on Monday. The strange thing is that neither of us have been �close to death� like this before and as soon as the ink is dry on our wills, death comes a knockin�. Strange how life works out that way.
I figured since my luck is going so well I might as well have a friend of mine buy me lottery tickets for the $325 million multi-state thingy. Needless to say, my luck ran out and I am not one of the lucky three.
DATE MAN
My cousin and I have a long running joke about mail order husbands and dating men with no teeth. The mail order husband thing started when we watched an A&E special about men who book vacations to Russia (and other countries) to find a wife to bring back home to the Grand Old USA. There was no mention of women going to other countries looking for husbands, so we searched the internet and used to send each other links to websites where we could �order a husband.�
I thought is was funny that the men on this program complained that they could not find any American woman that wanted to stay home and wait on them hand and foot, and that women from other countries were better �wife material� because the understood the importance of putting men first. I was waiting for the �women looking for husbands� to start talking about how she could not find any American men who were willing to wait on her hand and foot, or, dare I say it, work full time and earn enough money so I could stay home and have a kid a year. Needless to say A&E (and Bill Kurtis for that matter) apparently were not interested in women who are willing to �order a spouse.�
Most of these men were older, balding, over weight and seemed to work for the government. I was waiting for one of them to say that he wanted to get married so he could move out of his parents house, but none of them said that.
The toothless date thing is in regards to a man that she met who basically started stalking her the day after he met her, to the point to where she eventually moved to get rid of him. He was in his early 20�s and had no teeth due to all of the crank he did as a teenager.
Why am I telling you this??? I told my cousin that she needed to come visit me to witness DATE MAN at this party we are all going to. I told her that she could have him and that he had all his own teeth (as far as I know) and was only 20 something years older than her and that would save her the time of flying to the Ukraine to buy a spouse. She thought it was funny.
I no longer care about being blunt with DATE MAN. I am on the verge of going to his work and telling him to please stop calling me, but the only thing that is preventing me from doing this is that I would hate for anyone to do this to me at work, so I am waiting for the time being. I am tempted to buy him an answering machine so I can call him to tell him to stop calling me, but I do not know if that is going too far and he would take my present as a sign of affection. Bleck!
TTFN
OKINAWA
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