Friday, Apr. 05, 2002 - 3:04 p.m.
THE WEEKEND! THE WEEKEND! THE WEEKEND!!
Now that you know me a little better (if not see my earlier entry with 100 things about me) maybe my psychosis will make more sense. Maybe not. I am in shock because I just saw a commercial for �The X-Files� with special guest star Burt Reynolds--now I have seen it all. I used to really love that show, now I never watch. It should have ended when Mulder left.
This weekend is going to be focused on taxes. I am leaving next Thursday and get back on the 15th, so I have to get them done. It shouldn�t take too long, I have just been to lazy to do them.
I am sleeping in tomorrow. I may even take a sleeping pill tonight. I do not sleep well, never have, probably never will. I can take sleeping pills, but I adjust to them quickly, so it is better if I just take them every so often and get one really good night of sleep.
I am beginning to think that one of the reasons that I am tired and cranky is that I work too much. Too many nights in a row. Night and day, day and night. I used to work weekends too, but now I am taking those off. Both Saturday and Sunday, with very few exceptions. What is the point of working so much if you do not have a life to enjoy?
I think my brain is beginning to turn into oatmeal. I am not as smart as I used to be. I need to read more and watch TV less. I need to keep up with challenging my mind. If I don�t use it I will lose it. I am losing my ability to remember things as well. I am getting to the point in my life where I will actually get into the car and not remember where I am driving. I swear that once I turned 30, I slowly began to lose my mind. It has only been about six months, but they have been a very forgetful six weeks.
I have got to remember to change my clocks tomorrow. I always tend to forget things like that. I will remember it 100 times before I have to change it, then when it is time to do something, blank.
I think I am going to try and keep in better contact with people, outside of E-mail. I would say that 90% of my contact with friends and family is through E-mail. I think this is becoming a bad thing. Although I really like the �free� aspect of it, I think it can create a distance between people. There is an ad on TV (for a phone company of some sort) in which a Dad is calling his daughter because her last E-mail sounded different. It talks about the value of hearing the tone of the voice and not just the message, which is true. You can read something in an E-mail and not understand what the person is saying simply because you can not hear HOW they are saying it. Something written may sound a lot worse that what the person intended simply because you can�t hear their tone of voice.
I also have a terrible habit of not using proper grammar and punctuation when typing an E-mail. I think that may be contributing to my �oatmeal brain syndrome�. It is so easy to just fire back a subsentence instead of a �proper letter�.
I think one of the things I miss in life is romance, which is completely different from love. I miss the love notes and love letters and the little gifts that you get when you are involved in a �romance.� I think the difficult part about relationships that start off as �romances� is that eventually, when everything �cools down� you can remember how wonderfully romantic things used to be. I think that if you start off by writing love letters and sending flowers and things, that you should be prepared to do that forever. If you know that you are not that type of person, you should not pretend to be just to �woo� someone into falling in love with you. That is very misleading. You are not providing a �true picture� of who you are, and you are not giving that person the opportunity to fall in love with the �the real� you.
I went to college with someone who fell in love with someone that later turned out to be a �sociopath.� He would watch soap operas and �mimic� the romantic things he saw on TV and recreate them for her. Once she agreed to marry him, that all changed and the �real him� appeared out of nowhere. Luckily he did this before they got married and it gave her the opportunity to back out of the relationship.
This is why I prefer to read non-fiction. TTFN
OKINAWA
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